The Freebirds Wing.......: THE BEST BACON SANDWICH IN LONDON ???

Even though I'm a big fan of the futuristic zero gravity sport HYPER -BOLE, the above statement strikes me as being a very grandiose claim. And yet the claim has been made by more than one person (most notably by this guy) that the mightiest pig in bap combo can be found not too far from Liverpool Street train station. Now, having been on a self-imposed meat ban for three weeks, it was decided that if I was going to break this dietary judgement error it was going to be done in dramatic fashion. Ever a fan of adventure (and swine flesh) I decided to put the outlandish claims of some fella I’d never even heard of to the test.

TO LIVERPOOL STREET ME HEARTIES!!!!!

If you are of a mind to make this mighty Hajj yourself, follow these instructions to the letter. Deviate in the slightest and you will meet a sticky end, for, you see, this part of London village lies thick with peril. Creatures of myth and legend walk the streets and many inexperienced travellers have met a sticky end upon the rocks of Shoreditch High Street. Anyway, leave the station onto Liverpool Street and head left towards Spitalfields Market.


Stay the course lads, stay the course.

You need to take a shortcut through the market itself so beware, my friends, beware that you do not listen to the siren song of the hipster shitebags that dwell within. For if you do, ye will be damned for all eternity (well, it will seem like an eternity) to listen to their tale of woe. And also about, you know, their new trousers, man, yeah?


Oh my god!!!! These trousers are like so tight yeah, that if i had any balls, right, you'd be able to see them.

Once you pass through this abode of the damned your goal is in sight: ST JOHNS BREAD AND WINE.


LAND HO!!!!!!!

Once you get inside, you'll notice that it seems like the staff don't see you. Apparently this is because St. Johns Bread and Wine lies on the cusp of the nexus of all realities and it takes a while to sync up with the vibrational frequency their reality lies on. Either that, or it's because it's just after 9 on Sunday morning and they are all still mangled from the night before, so to be safe make sure not to feel fear or you will surely burn at their touch.

You need six dollars for WHAT?

The first thing you will notice is that everyone is having the bacon sandwich, chiefly because there is fuck all else on the menu (see above). Go with the herd here. You will not be disappointed.

Errrrrrr, that's a big fucking sandwich!

Remember that scene in the great outdoors where John Candy has to eat a 96-ounce steak?

That'll do pig!!!!!

This is one big ass sandwich. It's not too much of a stretch to say that this sangwich very likely contains a full pig, and two whole breads. It's MASSIVE. The bread is baked in-house and the ketchup is homemade too. So fruity. So delicious. So good.