Operation: Man Tit Get Rid Of.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I of course realise that as a New Year's message that this is coming both a day late and a dollar short, but in this instance there is a method to my indolence. I wanted my first post of the year 2012 (eeek the world's going to end etc) to be a mission statement for my behaviour and efforts over the next 12 months, and it was important to me that this missive not get lost in the whirl of soon-to-be-broken promises and end-of-year platitudes. It definitely wasn’t because I couldn’t be bothered. Really. I swear. Honest.

Over the last two months of 2011 I became EXTREMELY lazy. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened. New job duties, plus finally getting a proper house (someday I'll talk about my hostel days, someday soon.) meant I was knackered in the evening so I just gave up. My diet and exercise regime went to SHITE, and my Herculean booze consumption did not help.

The results of this were twofold: I did nothing and I became fat. I knew this to be the case as my sister told me so on Christmas day as I was making fun of Adele for being a fattie. This is unacceptable. Therefore this blog will become a forum for me  and you the almost-but-not-quite hypothetical reader) to track my progress in getting my writing output way up, and my weight way down. I will also become less lazy in terms of performing comedy as it is now nearly two years since I moved here with a view to performing stand up at least once a week and, thus far have managed exactly one gig (which went very well, thank you for asking).

• At least once a week I’ll check in with my "Operation Man Tit Get Rid Of" ( working title).
• I'll post at least one graphic novel or comic review per week.
• I'll post one other thing of at least 500 words per week.
• I'll check in with three other short pieces per week. This will chiefly consist of thoughts, pictures, or (more realistically) stupid stuff that happens me at school.
• I'll loose ten percent of my body weight before the summer (hopefully in the form of disgusting adipose tissue that currently resides around my chest area in a grotesque parody of womanhood).
• I will gig each month at the number of the month ( 1 in January etc.).
• I will give my liver a break.

That doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch, now does it?

I rely on you, one of the <7 people who pass through here every day, to kick me up the hole .

For the record: my current weight is either 85 kg ( according to the school gym scales) or 86.5 ( Boots in Hackney Central).

I have forsworn meat (7 days currently) and caffeine (4 days), and booze is on the way out.

I visited the gym four times this week (and humiliated myself).

WISH ME LUCK YO!!!!!!!

Graphic Novel Review : Superman True Brit

Superman: True Brit

John Cleese ( writer).

John Byrne & Mark Farmer(art)

Titan Books Ltd

John Cleese has made some rum Career choices in the last twenty years or so. A string of expensive
divorce settlements have left him a little strapped for cash and so his work has become more diverse
than in the past. Hence we have the kind of sort of nearly logical collaboration between ex-Python
and ex-pat John Byrne.

DC has a comics imprint called “Elseworlds” which allows them to imagine their characters in places
and situations that the constraints of continuity wouldn’t usually allow. It’s a fun little line that has
allowed Batman to take on Jack the Ripper, Superman to have a boxing match with Muhammad Ali,
and Green Lantern to face the aliens out of Aliens. Superman: True Brit imagines a world where the
infant Kal El, last son of the doomed planet Krypton, crash lands not in the wheat fields of Kansas,
but instead in rural Weston-super-Mare! He then grows up to enjoy all the trappings of a life in jolly
old Blighty. So it’s fun and japes as Superman attends a public school and plays cricket. It's fun and
japes as Superman drinks tea and tries to fix the NHS. Its fun and japes as Superman is scandalised in
the tabloids. It's fun and japes as Superman: True Brit is shite.

John Byrne was once a upon a time considered to be a visionary artist with near-legendary runs
on Uncanny X-Men, Alpha Flight and the series which redefined Superman for a new generation
of comics fans, Man of Steel. His once clean, clearly-defined artwork has become scratchy and
cluttered at some point, almost as if he’s trying to emulate Jack Kirby but getting it ever-so-slightly
wrong. There are two main problems at the core of Superman: True Brit. It’s not just that it's bad-
- although it most certainly is bad-- it’s more that it fails so spectacularly to live up to its creative
pedigree. Additionally it would be very easy to jump to the conclusion that the creators had
never even been to England let alone come from there. Every pathetic sub-Austin Powers British
stereotype gag is trotted out and milked for all it's worth. There are issues of The Beano with more
genuine laughs than this bilge. Much more humour would be expected from the writer/artist of the
hilarious Sensational She Hulk, and the man who wrote the FUCKING DEAD PARROT SKETCH.

This is probably the best joke in the book.Really.

If we ever needed a final piece of evidence that the coin of John Cleese’s comedic genius had been
well and truly spent (presumably on yet another divorce), we now have the proverbial smoking gun.
Avoid like the plague. Or the Great Fire Of London. Or the Spanish Inquisition.

ANOTHER CRAP ZOMBIE JOKE

POP FACTS NUMBER 2

POP FACTS.NUmber 1

a joke in picture form : what do vegan zombies eat?

Fear : the whole ting