Operation: Man Tit Get Rid Of.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I of course realise that as a New Year's message that this is coming both a day late and a dollar short, but in this instance there is a method to my indolence. I wanted my first post of the year 2012 (eeek the world's going to end etc) to be a mission statement for my behaviour and efforts over the next 12 months, and it was important to me that this missive not get lost in the whirl of soon-to-be-broken promises and end-of-year platitudes. It definitely wasn’t because I couldn’t be bothered. Really. I swear. Honest.

Over the last two months of 2011 I became EXTREMELY lazy. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened. New job duties, plus finally getting a proper house (someday I'll talk about my hostel days, someday soon.) meant I was knackered in the evening so I just gave up. My diet and exercise regime went to SHITE, and my Herculean booze consumption did not help.

The results of this were twofold: I did nothing and I became fat. I knew this to be the case as my sister told me so on Christmas day as I was making fun of Adele for being a fattie. This is unacceptable. Therefore this blog will become a forum for me  and you the almost-but-not-quite hypothetical reader) to track my progress in getting my writing output way up, and my weight way down. I will also become less lazy in terms of performing comedy as it is now nearly two years since I moved here with a view to performing stand up at least once a week and, thus far have managed exactly one gig (which went very well, thank you for asking).

• At least once a week I’ll check in with my "Operation Man Tit Get Rid Of" ( working title).
• I'll post at least one graphic novel or comic review per week.
• I'll post one other thing of at least 500 words per week.
• I'll check in with three other short pieces per week. This will chiefly consist of thoughts, pictures, or (more realistically) stupid stuff that happens me at school.
• I'll loose ten percent of my body weight before the summer (hopefully in the form of disgusting adipose tissue that currently resides around my chest area in a grotesque parody of womanhood).
• I will gig each month at the number of the month ( 1 in January etc.).
• I will give my liver a break.

That doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch, now does it?

I rely on you, one of the <7 people who pass through here every day, to kick me up the hole .

For the record: my current weight is either 85 kg ( according to the school gym scales) or 86.5 ( Boots in Hackney Central).

I have forsworn meat (7 days currently) and caffeine (4 days), and booze is on the way out.

I visited the gym four times this week (and humiliated myself).

WISH ME LUCK YO!!!!!!!